2020年南京盐城高三一模作文分析和写作

2020-01-27 03:38:01 74

最近两场考试格外引人注目：一是昨天的浙江高考；二是今天的南京盐城一模。今天先就南京盐城的高一一模作文写一篇下水文。明天写一篇格调比较高的浙江读后续写下水文。

作文题：教育部发布了一项给中小学教师的惩罚权的规定，请谈谈你的意见和建议。

如何写概要

China’s Ministry of Education issued a new regulation allowing primary and middle school teachers to take disciplinary actions against students, to which the public respond with different opinions. (29wds)

(一件事引起不同的观点，有很多表达方式，但是这种还是很是很独特的：…, to which the public respond with different opinions.)

如何写正文

Personally, the policyfacilitates students’ sound growth. First, it can impress them by the importance ofrules and regulations, which are the cornerstone of a good community. Those who break them but get away withpunishment will take it for grantedand likely commit crimes in future. Besides, it hangs like Damocles' Swordand help cultivate self-discipline.

However, the policy serves its purpose only when applied properly. For one thing, physical punishment should be accompanied bypsychological help so that pupils can realize the root of misbehavior. For another, it shouldn’t do harm to health, not to mentioninsulting them.

In conclusion, since the disciplinary action can mend one’s wayand keep schools running on the track, why should we say no to it?. (126wds)

写作思路上：从两个方面：1. 规矩的重要性 2.有利于学生的自律。

写作技巧上：

1.说让人意识到重要性，可选词汇很多，我用的是impress…by the importance of….后面的非限制性定从实际上是具体说明重要性为何，此处用了比喻： the cornerstone of a good community

2.阐述重要性，不仅从正面写，还从反面写：如果违反规则却不受惩罚，会有怎样的后果。

3.第二点我一带而过了，实际上还可以充分展开的，这里用了谚语：Damocles' Sword

4.主题句一定要简洁，不要拖泥带水，所以我这里这样写的：

Personally, the policy facilitates students’ sound growth.

However, the policy serves its purpose only when applied properly.

尤其是第二句，虽然看起来简单，但实际上是包含了省略结构，可以借鉴一下。

5.最后一段或最后一句力求简洁，但一定要有力，不建议用老套的句型，不妨用反义疑问句。